Written words from an honest heart

What difference a day makes <3

Kategori: Allmänt

You never know the biggest days of your life is the biggest days
Not until it's happening.
You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not unitl your right in the middle of it.
The day you commit to something or someone.
The day you get your heart broken.
The day you meet you soul mate.
The day you realize there is not enough time, because you want to live forever.
Those are the biggest days.
The Perfect days..
 

A spark from the past lits a fire in the present

Kategori: Allmänt

I believe that the choices we make in our life is what’s defines us.

Every day we make choices, we choose witch road we’re going to take on our way home, witch person we choose to talk to when something unusual has happened.

But there is also the bigger choices we make, like who we choose to give our heart to or who we choose to let in our life and keep in our life.

If we held the answers to our future based on the choices we make, would it make any difference?

I want to believe that the choices we make is from our heart and in that way it can never be wrong, cause we followed our hearts will.

So in other words, it doesn’t matter how much time we spend dwelling in the past because we wouldn’t have made any other choices, if we truly followed our heart. But if we made our choice based on fear, anger or disappointment then there is almost bound to be a decision filled with regret.

The most recent decisions in my life I’ve made based on my feelings from my heart. Still I found myself thinking about the past as something I could have changed if I’d known then what I know now but I know that even if I would hold all the answers I would still make my choice depending on what’s in my heart.

A thought that’s been occurring more often since a specific person phoned me in the middle of the night a while ago.  A man I have a history with. I keep wondering if we would have a future if we would have met now.

When I first met him, he saved me from myself, from a place I had been stuck in, which was somewhere between darkness and confusion. A place another man but me in caused by years of struggles.

He showed me love and he was there when I needed him. He came to me in the middle of the night just to lie next to me. He helped me, not only with material things like fixing my lamps and putting up a shell, he also helped me to find a way to laughter, trust and security.

And I hate myself for not being able to let him inside and I also failed to show him that he meant something to me, even more then I’d like to admit, especially back then.

I chose to keep the man that had hurt me so many times, the man that never really seemed to care about me or how I felt, as long as I was there when he wanted me. I think back on those times and I can feel regret, regret that I kept the man that didn’t want or deserved my heart. I regret never giving the person who wanted me a chance to win my heart.

But as sad as I might sound, I probably would make the same choice I did back then because my heart were in love and I didn’t get to choose in which man.

But from the place where I’m at now I could see a future with the one I left behind or at least a beginning because ever since I got his phone call old memories keeps coming up. Memories from a time when there was only you and me, in my apartment running free. Remember the time when you and I went outside, we sat on the bench looking at the stars. I never told you this, but in that moment I found myself being in a warm place, a place I could have stayed in forever, a place with you. Right there and then I knew I could fall in love with you and that I’ve already started to.

But our story also ended there. Until you called me and brought everything I ever felt back into life.

You told me that we were always meant to be and you asked me why I had to leave you, leave town.

I tell you now; if you spoke from a true heart when you told me that, you should know that I’m willing to take a chance, to take a leap of faith with us.

Now you know and it’s all up to you to write your future with me or with the one that holds you in her heart now. As long as you follow your true feeling that’s in your heart and not your feelings brought from fear, it can never be wrong, don’t ever forget that.

The sky holds the answers in the Stars

Kategori: Allmänt

I'm looking at the stars and I find myself looking for som comfort, comfort in life, comfort in love, comfort in faith.

Comfort in the thought that everything happens for a reason and that people who are ment to be with each other will somehow find a way back.

I wonder how much a heart can break, can it break so hard that it can never heal again? If you meet a person, that's like none other, that made your heart feel something it never felt before and that person suddenly decides to empty the place you had in his heart, will you ever be able to empty him from yours?

Can it be that one of two lovers felt a forever lasting love and the other one didn't? If that is possible, was everything you ever felt a lie?

If two people really are ment to be, one person doesn't leave the other one behind.

If one truly loves and I mean loves with your whole heart, you can never go back or forward, it's like your stuck in time.

You only live life trough the memories you had with him, that you had togheter.

Some say that time heals all wounds but I say, some wounds can't be heald and maybe some wounds are not suppost to.

So weather destiny or eternal love is a lie or not, we all need to believe in it.

We need to believe that some stories are written in the stars, cause our hearts will not ever forget the memories of the times you had with the one who got away, those memories can not ever be erased..

 

You can always find some kind of light in the darkest hour

Kategori: Allmänt





This year, hearts were set on fire and just as quickly they burned out, hearts was crushed into a million pieces, friendships you believed in lost there way and the unbreakeble band was broken, people you once thought you knew revealed their true faces, there’s been deceit, betrayel and lies. But you must not forget that even though hurtful things has happend, you’ve also learned something from it. Maybe you’ve learned that some things aren’t ment to be or you’ve come to realise that some people and relationships are worth fighting for and some are not. Life will never stop testing you or your ability to overcome obsticals that seems impossible.
When everything feels hopeless and your tears never seem to dry, remember this;

It’s only when we are tested that we know who we are and what we can be

A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets

Kategori: Allmänt






By now, you all know that there was a man and that he saved me...in every way that a person can be saved.

He exists now, only in my memory..

You can't break the broken

Kategori: Allmänt

I believed that I could get out, escape to a new life

But I just put a new face on the same loneliness

What happend to me?

How did I become so broken?






I fell in love and at some point the person that I love forgot to love me back

 

 

 

Lyckan är överväldigande !

Kategori: Allmänt

Den här helgen har varit den bästa helgen på jävligt länge!!

Jag hade så otroligt roligt i lördags, den kvällen hade allt en festkväll ska ha säger jag bara :)

Kvällen började med förslir hos fröken Pålsson, vilket var jättetrevligt :) Sedan drog vi vidare och lalade på stan jag och Linda, två fyllbultar som egentligen inte gjorde något speciellt, men kul som fasen hade vi i alla fall!

Sedan var vi en sväng på Bishop för att sedan dra vidare till Mcdonalds! Där träffade vi lite folk för att sedan dra vidare till bastu på Södra Grön! Bastun urartade lite grann, men det är så det ska vara;)

Efter en mysig bastu bestämde jag mig för att ha efterslir hos mig vilket varade till klocan 7 på morgonen ! Living the dream !

Så nu går jag och sprudlar av lycka vars jag än är :)





Så här går det när man ska klättra som en apa i fyllan ;)

Secret

Kategori: Allmänt

Idag har det varit helt underbart väder utomhus ! Jag började morgonen med att dra ut mitt trötta arsle på ett träningspass i vårvädret och det var helt fantastiskt skönt :)

Sedan har man varit instängd i skolan hela dagen tyvärr..

Jag håller på att spricka av att inte få berätta en hemlighet som jag sitter och trycker på, det är en helt fantastisk grej som involverar mycket kärlek, hihi ! Jag ska i alla fall få vara en stor del i detta med mycket ansvar över saker och ting och det är ju otroligt glad, stolt och exalterad över!

Sedan har jag fantastiska nyheter! Maria ska komma till mig i Östersund och möjligtvis Höglund också, jag är så lycklig!! Ska vi Östersund från den bästa sidan ;)


 

Ledtråd till hemligheten: Den här klänningen kommer jag bära, fast i rött ;)

A dream is a wish the heart makes

Kategori: Allmänt

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.





Ever  thine
Ever  mine
Ever  ours


Goodbye

Kategori: Allmänt

I wish you knew everything..

Kategori: Allmänt

Igår var en riktigt trevlig kväll, stack iväg på soppan med Maja och Karro där vi träffade en massa trevligt folk och klasskamrater :) Jag och Karro skulle ju inte bli fulla iaf, men kvällen slutade väl i det självklara, att vi blev lite packade ;) Pålle stack på krogen och jag stack hem efter soppan..

Blev så fruktansvärt besviken på en person igår, eller snarare sagt jävligt förbannad, man måste fan använda hjärnan innan man slänger ur ord ur käften! Vaknade upp med blåslagna knogar så det är väl ännu ett bevis på ilskan jag hade..Ja, men människor som säger det du sa igår behöver aldrig någonsin prata med mig igen, det är ett som är säkert! Man kan fan inte bete sig hur som helst..

Så här var snygg var jag igår i alla fall, med mina nya, helt fantastiska shoes!  






Erased

Te amo

Kategori: Allmänt




På fredag kände jag mig som en riktigt 30- årig stadskvinna, jag lagade mat samtidigt som jag sippade på ett glas vitt vin, lyssnade på underbara toner som flödade ut ur stereon och självklart kom det toner ut ur fröken Pohjanen också :)

Ibland kan det vara så fruktansvärt skönt bara vara med sig själv och njuta av livet !

What if I can't forget..?

Kategori: Allmänt

Har sökt jobb för sommaren idag, fan det känns ganska långt borta men det är ju snart mars! Helt sjukt,vars tar tiden vägen egentligen? Ja, jag insåg iaf att det är sjukt längesedan jag har skrivit ett personligt brev, jag har ju som alltid återvänt till Csn haha, men inte denna gång!

Känner att jag bara sitter och skriver i bloggen nu för att jag är så fruktansvärt uttråkad, hatar att inte ha något att göra, eller ja, inte något roligt att göra iaf! Jag hade ju kunnat städa och sånt där, men det vill man ju inte förren det ser ut som ett rejält bombnedslag här ;)

Har sånt där sug att göra något impulsivt!

Åh vilken dröm jag hade i natt, den var helt fantastisk, åh vad jag vill att det ska bli min framtid, man kan ju endast hoppas att det var en sanndröm <3



Saknar..

Year 2010 was the beginning of everything..

Kategori: Allmänt

Inser att bloggen har blivit lite bortglömd på senaste tiden, men det kanske tyder på att jag har skaffat mig ett liv?
Har nyss slängt ihop en chili chokladmousse till familjens nyårs mat, den smaka mumma! Nu snart ska jag hoppa i duschen, göra mig snygg och sedan dricka bubbel och skjuta raketer! Det ska bli riktigt mysigt att fira nyår med familjen, det var som längesedan sist!

Beger mig hem den 2 eller 3 januari med min käre bil, 83 mil på vintern, hoppas jag inte stöter på någon älg på vägen..
Ska bli riktigt skönt att komma tillbaka till Östersund, kommer tillbaka till verkligheten.

När man har varit hemma i snart två veckor så känner man att magen och arslet har blivit jävla mycket större, det är mammas fel, hon lagar så god mat till mig, så när jag återvänder till Östersund blir det skärpning! Mer träning står på schemat kan jag lova!

Nu ska jag sticka iväg och springa några km, sen kan jag äta nyårsmaten med gott samvete!

Hoppas alla mina nära och kära får ett riktigt bra nyår!

Everybody should have someone like you <3

Kategori: Allmänt




I hope you know how much you mean to me

For every day I get to laugh with you

For every day I get to hear your voice

For every day I get to ease my heart to you 

For every day you and me don't agree on things 

For every day we both think we're right and neither of us can admit we were wrong

For every day I get to dry your tears

For every day you give me your wise advice

For every day you make sure I see the truth that lies in front of me

For every day you meet me with honesty and respect

For every day you show your kindness

For every day you let me know you're there for me

Anytime, Anywhere

I will forever be greatful for these things

Cause when every light has gone out

You shine bright

And when my road is long

You walk beside me

And let me know everything is going to be alright

I can only hope I can give back half of what you have given me..



Älskar dig min underbara knäppgök till vän Karoline Pålsson <3